It amazes me how poorly most of us are concerning the fundamentals of getting along. So much of my work with leaders is focused on interpersonal competencies. Becoming a parent requires a minimum level of competency, likewise, the entry qualifications for groups, social networks, teams, or families, is oftentimes equally low. Interpersonal turbulence is created as we live our lives in the reciprocal volley of relationships. What one does, impacts generally not just another, but the greater whole.

We seem to forget about the requirement of playing by a common set of rules that governs our collective actions. The present norm is to do what we think is good, with special emphasis on it being good for ourselves personally. If this is largely true, the prevailing outcome within social networks is chaos. Chaos occurs as each individual defaults to their idea of what the group norm should be, even if it is “to each his own,” and remains accountable only to their opinion of behavioral integrity and goodness. The issue in this kind of chaos isn’t that people aren’t interested in doing what seems good, but that good for the greater whole requires more than intention, but outcomes that measureably are better in the judgement of the larger group.