This has been a highly charged couple of weeks in both my personal and professional life. And the overriding challenge is how to ask the right questions in order to get to the right answers…and then ultimately, how can I have a sense of peace that comes from the spiritual life domain…that center that guides and defines who I am? And within that thought process I wrestle with the righteousness of thought and decision and the additional question of: did I provide courageous, spirit-respecting leadership to others?

The Chinese language character for crisis combines two other characters: one for opportunity and one for threat. This certainly reflects my experience that in every crisis, both possibilities are present. The challenge is to keep at bay the shadows, the fear-based constraint, that can hide truth and prevent my seeing the possible opportunities for growth in my life and my leadership. Most of the time, when I am not in a place of peace and well-being, my gut tightens up, my shoulders tense in tight knots, and the deep-set crease between my eyebrows is like a Sharpei’s wrinkle; not the most flattering appearance nor the most approachable from others’ viewpoint!

So when life brings another crisis head on…I have to consciously make room for the work that is ahead. I won’t get through it if I don’t make the correct choices that will bring that deep sense of peace that is unconditional…a peace that aligns my purpose and the satisfaction level of whatever I am doing at the moment. Therefore, I can’t always rely on having something, getting something, or being with someone. If I am driven by my fear or desire for those things that I don’t have, then I won’t or can’t make the room for the joys that I can choose to “tuck” into the areas of my life.

Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist, philosopher, and writer, wrote about his life in Nazi concentration camps, much of it spent doing hard manual labor.

“Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstances, to choose one’s way…The way in which a man accepts his fate, all of the suffering it entails…gives him ample opportunity – even in the most difficult circumstances – to add a deeper meaning to his life.”

Even in his daily terror of a Nazi concentration camp, Frankl found meaning by choosing how to view his circumstances. Shame on me that at times of crisis I haven’t always chosen joy that isn’t based on circumstances; albeit I was looking for perfection, others’ judgment, self-judgment, or righteousness. I get so busy doing that I can’t experience joy. Conditions take me out of the present.

So how do I change my view of those experiences? Getting out of my head and into my heart. I don’t need anything more than my own belief…my own knowledge…my own truth. And yes…that mirrored reflection of those that care about me unconditionally and can hold me accountable to my core convictions.

Hence, I know that somehow, in order to move forward in leadership within my life, I need to get the essentials done and discover a way to deal with anything that doesn’t get done or go my way! I need to stay anchored to my purpose and my core values and develop a list of questions to anchor me when life crisis moments begin to raise their ugly heads and my anxiety level escalates.

• Does this serve my purpose?
• Does it support my values?
• Does this bring joy to my life?
• Does this exhibit faithful leadership to others?
• Does it benefit only me?
• Does any decision/action taken in any way be driven by fear?
• What is the worst that can happen?
• What will my intention/choice be?
• What kind of execution will others see?
• How long will it take me to get my butt in gear?

Mohandas K. Gandhi told us “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.” We have to become what we want to attract. We have to exercise personal leadership where we are, when we are, and in what we are doing. Peace and joy will come as I let go of fear and desire and accept what is.

It has taken me some time in my life to understand that perfectionism, self-reliance, and control were not always positive qualities. They can keep me from risking and doing the best I can; everyday. It can keep me from priceless growth that hindsight that is revealed after we have emerged from crisis in our lives. Courage isn’t the absence of fear…it is the choice to face fear…and deny the loss of peace and joy in our lives!

I believe my choice through this current crisis, and any future crisis, is to face it with courage…with heart…knowing that my intentions will be to experience peace and joy.

May you all have a great weekend as I head to Chicago with my husband for an early anniversary celebration of 29 years! Incredible he has put up with me this long!

Warmly, Trudy