It’s the end of October and it’s dark still at 7:42am! I am a morning person and I feel like I get my energy for the day with the solar power of the sun. I guess that’s why I dislike gray days and early mornings in late Fall and Winter. It just makes me want to curl up with a blanket and hibernate for those first few morning hours. Yet, the reality is, is that the morning is usually my most productive time…so here I am…sitting in front of my computer looking out a window that shows a beginning hint of the sunrise. This day, it will result in a gorgeous 70 degrees and the possibilities are endless!
The week has surfaced questions concerning the realities of death, future job change, relocation, tightening of the economic belt, quality of lifestyle, contribution to community, and where will my journeying lead? The questions are swirling around in my head and getting so muddled up that it is difficult to allow enough room for the compartmentalizing I like to do to keep my equilibrium. And without that…the fear devours my attempts to have forward movement. How do I proceed from here?
Someone recently reminded me that I am very singular in thought and action. True. It is hard for me to multi-task if I don’t feel free of distractions and hindrances that can literally shut me down. Although I like spontaneity…I also crave routine…the familiar and the comfortable. And I prefer to have all my ducks in a row, if you know what I mean, with the appropriate colors! J (Years ago there was a front yard I would pass that had adult and baby duck figures, but they were painted wrong! The adult was yellow and the ducklings were white! Now that just isn’t right!).
So why is it that we have to have our life in some order that constitutes security and personal satisfaction? It’s like we fit our puzzle together and if we come up with a few missing pieces we are stymied as to how to complete the steps toward our preferred future. Why is it that we can’t have faith in the process of discovery, of not knowing what the end of our story will be? We look for the answers to who, what, where, why, and how without contemplating giving spirit and voice to the “whatever”. Whatever…whatever it is, whatever it takes, whatever it leads me to. The “whatever” journey will bring me to intersections in life that is just right for me. Therefore, my responsibility is to be in a mindset of discovery and openness so that I don’t bypass or worse case scenario, purposely ignore the opportunities before me.
Recently, I finished reading a book series where the potential existed to be able to read a character out of a story in a book or read a person from this life into the story of the book with the right voice. Wow! Now we are talking possibilities!! I say to myself, “I would love to write my own story, or put myself into the story of my choice”, but don’t I have that ability now? Insofar as that book series is fiction, do I not have the limitlessness of possibilities of using my unique “voice” and by giving life to that voice through my intentions and actions everyday? Am I not able to write my own story, with truth, with purpose, and with a spirit of giving who I am…that which the Creator has bestowed?
So what do I find to give, where do I use it, why is it important, who are the recipients, and how do I begin? I believe you begin small, giving something of yourself that fulfills a need; whether or not you have the belief that something within you has enough value for the “giving”. And through that process you deal with the vulnerability issues such as, “am I giving the right thing”, “am I giving enough”, and “am I giving what’s good”? Along with those questions come the selfish ones we don’t like to acknowledge to others, “do I have to give again” and “what’s in it for me”?
Well, you and I will never know until we put those puzzle pieces down and see if they fit…and if not, then where, and we don’t stop trying to find where our voice is to be given away. We all possess the ability to grab life and live, we don’t need to feel like we are “settling for”; if need be, we can actually re-write our stories. By stepping into and taking ownership of the story of your life, you are the “pen to paper”. Lead and give of yourself; put your arms around those people that constitute your micro- community; give to a community that you have the ability to impact. That’s leadership…that’s living a life worthy…that’s taking possession of authoring your own story full of purpose and passion for “what’s good”!
You will give your life for something. That’s a fact. So go beyond what you think you do or don’t have as potential and just do something! Contribute to something that goes beyond yourself, beyond all your questions, beyond all your insecurities, and leave a legacy. Leave your voice whispering somewhere.
While writing, the sun has fully risen and the remaining leaves on the trees are awesome! Maybe my giving begins by helping my neighbor rake their leaves over to join the meager amount I have in my yard. Then I can jump in my pile, get my Harley out from under its cover, take off and “give” the residual leaves to my other neighbors! Ha No, I don’t think that qualifies under the giving category. But I do know that I have something of worth today to give that can be as simple as the task of raking and bagging up leaves. You have to begin somewhere, and today, that’s the plan!
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