Psychologist Carl Jung distinguishes our lives in halves. He states that the first half of our life is the process of individuation. This is where most of the energies of our family of origin, our educational systems, our institutions, our social norms, and most anything else focuses their attention, effort, and energies. As I see it, the gravitational pull of this initial stage is systemic, immense and deeply integrated into our psyche. Most of the people that I work with are still largely defined and bound by the effects of our initial need to find solid, safety, success, and solidarity.

But there is a second important act that asks us to integrate our collection of styles, perceptions, ideas of ourselves into something that is more authentic to what it means to be good. This calling is not to some moralistic posture, but to thinking and applying of ourselves to the situations and people of our lives in ways that supercedes our historic addiction to our own egocentric needs.

For some, the movement continues to summons an orientation past ethnocentric (the superiority of ones group) ideas and norms to a worldcentric/post-conventional (a commitment and practice of being and doing good for all people) lifestyle. This new activity of our lives is a chosen one that pushes past reptilian brain stem ethics to a neo-cortex, even spiritual standard. This act two orientation is about the maturation, alignment and practice of the highest intellectual, emotional, spiritual and social intelligence applied to situational, individual, and group needs.

There is more to unpack with this, but ask yourself the question: “How am I acting?” then do something to raise the level of your play.

Today I experienced desire that was not straining for fulfillment. I didn’t attempt to possess, control, or create what I wanted, I just was present with it as it was. Have you ever cupped air? Are you holding onto it, or are you present with it as it is? In my love and desire for another, am I straining to hold onto this other for my idea of what I hope for, or am I present with them as they are for this day?

I was startled today as I looked into his eyes. What do we do when everything is gray slush and we just want to be free from the uncertainty and void? What do we do with the truth that we can never return to Eden? How do we manage the reality that we cannot reverse evolution or slip back into a former mindset that seemed to shield us from a present reality that pulls us apart? Our only salvation is to go forward through the desert into deeper and ever-deeper levels of consciousness. I’m not convinced that the exchange is necessarily pain for happiness, but a degree of immobility for power. . .power to grow, to live fully, to understand the origins of our anguish, how to stop it, and the pathway that is necessary for both cessation and an emergence of a greater whole.

“When crows find a dying snake they behave as if they were eagles. When I see myself as a victim, I am hurt by trifling failures.” - Shantideva

Today I left a well educated leader who may have lived the vast majority of his life out of the victim modality. Think this doesn’t relate to most of us? You would be wrong! The prevailing norm in my experience is that the majority of people see that life has done things to them . . . largely unfairly and undeservedly. Personal responsibility is rarely acknowledged.

This leader could do really good things, but has largely chosen to do tiny things because he has not owned his life well enough. It should be a gut check for all of us from my perspective.

What is humility but the faithful and honest rendering of truth. . .no more, no less. Why is it that for far too many, humility is about the degredation of ourselves at the altar of social acceptance? What it seems like is that pride is the real hidden god in that matter of not over playing our value within a situation, or group. I have listened to far too many speak of their abilities in ways that sound censored, but are largely that person copping out from facing their fear and practicing life truthfully. The messages of this false humility sounds right, but they are void of a deeper truth that demands full performance by the individual.

I see leaders withold themselves because they don’t want to come across brash or arrogant. I always encourage clients to pay attention to any noise within the system of their actions that reduce impact, but please differentiate between possible noise and fear. It serves none of us to play small. Likewise, it serves no one for us to misrepresent the truth. Let’s just be clear about the fact that misrepresentation of truth can swing either direction, and largely does.

My advocacy is toward an ethic of truth in love. I know that sounds “soft” in corporate circles, but try it and discover not only how hard it is, but how it is also good. Can we please live our lives asserting the truth of what we can do in the situations of our lives? Let the norm be that what is represented is a wholeness that offers clarity of what we are good at doing, and what we are not. It is only as we become honest about both truths - the good and bad - that we provide the situations and people of our lives the greatest contribution that we can give. . .ourselves.

Twenty-four hours, 365 days, and about 78 years is for most, a life. What do we want to experience, be, accomplish, or contribute within this time? For far too long, our “fire in the belly” is nothing more than our pursuit of an elusive salve that we think once held, will soothe the deep wound we each possess. When we do wake up, if we ever wake up, so much has gone on underfoot that we aren’t even sure where we are, what we want, or how to go about the next thing. I know I run the risk of sounding a bit odd (beyond the normal babbling), but just for the sake that there might be others who understand, I will continue.

Sometimes I look at this thing we define as life, these near 44 years, and tons of what one of my friends calls “creative abrasions,” or for the rest of us “hell,” and wonder what is the composite, what is meaningfully still true and with me. I want to believe that who I am is more than just the experiences joined together with me as the common denominator. Where can we set foot that we gain a deepening clarity of identity? I think we all want to be more that just vessels that transfer the sum total of life’s deposits to each moment. There is within me a desire to see how “who I am,” is more about the choices I made to be transformed by my experiences in a generative and developmental way. I want to see how even when it was like planting flowers in the dark, it still contributed to an emerging wholeness that’s uniquely my own, but very much united to something, or someone larger than just me.

Do these thoughts matter in the trenches of another corporate rift that arbitrarily lets 15 year employees go just so they can make the quarterly numbers? You betcha!